Manhattan Monsters!

Oh, the horror...
There are so many nefarious beasts in Manhattan that it frightens me. Thankfully there is no shortage of intelligent and insightful monstrologists and I feel that as long as the balance between monsters and us, the people that keep track of them, is maintained we can all rest safe.
These are some of the monsters we discovered at the Poet's House after we had a monstrology session where the participants, under my experienced tutelage, were able to document some fantastical beasts.

View them and tremble with fear.

New Findings at Brooklyn Botanical Gardens

The event at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens yielded some fascinating new monsters documented by a large group of young, talented monstrologists!
Here are just a few of the most fascinating beasts.

As clearly noted on these studies these monsters were all DANGEROUS TO HUMANS.
Be careful out there!

Fascinating Q&A session after my Lecture at the Commuity Bookstore in Brooklyn

Upcoming lectures

Dear followers of Monsterwatch. The end of October will be a busy time for yours truly, it is clear that the public is hungry for more REAL information about monsters.


I have been asked to hold my lecture om Monstrology in four different venues.

In two of the distinguished institutions; Brooklyn Botanical Garden and Poet's House, I have been asked to not only give my lecture on the science of monstrology, but to also lead workshops on the recording methods and archiving of monsters.

These are the venues, hope to see you there.

PS 39 (not open to the public)
Park Slope, Brooklyn

Oct 24

9.25 am

Poet's House

NY Public Library, Mulberry Street Branch (10 Jersey st. bet. Lafayette & Mulberry)
New York, NY 10012
Oct 25

2pm

Brooklyn Botanical Garden, "Ghouls and Gourds"

Oct 26

noon-6pm

Community Bookstore
143 Seventh Avenue Brooklyn NY 11215
(718)783-3075
Oct 30

5pm

A treasure trove of Monsters!

I have received a fantastic document of seminal importance!

It is nothing less than another groundbreaking catalogue of monsters not unlike my own masterpiece, A Field Guide to Monsters.

This thick stack of new discoveries is unpublished but none the less masterful in its description of several brand new monsters that even I have never heard of.

It was compiled by a group of young monstrologists in Freeport, Illinois, headed by an eminent guide and teacher in Mrs. Angie Damin at Empire Elementary.

We owe these young brave monsterhunters a wealth of gratitude.

Among the almost 50 new monsters catalogued we find some tremendous, dangerous beasts. Below are just a few outstanding studies:
The very colorful Fowller Born eats people that do bad things and has a very bad cut with monster flesh and blood hanging out in May, March and June,


The Fatty Patty is a mysterious, harmless beast that lives in 5 star restaurants but only eat junk food and candy!

The Moniter Number is a very dangerous monster that haunts schools and especially math books. It will eat you if you give the wrong answer! The only safety measures are to never say the wrong answer or never open any math books.

Thanks again to the Multiage Class of Mrs. Angie Damin in Freeport Illinois! Keep up the good work!

Aliens,Aliens Aliens...

That's all I can say to my defense, for not having updated these pages for so long.

My monstrology research have by necessity been put on hold for the time being since two recent field missions turned out to be linked to a whole series of alien encounters.

It has prompted me to start work on a new groundbreaking book!

In some way research into Alien/Extra Terrestial life forms is very similar to Monstrology and,as the field of UFO/Alien studies is, like monstrology, studded with charlatans and flimflam-men there is a dire need for a serious look at the field by a reputable scientist such as myself.

I have already accumulated some every interesting field notes/drawings,

This being, I have given it the temporary name "Clustor", is curious and friendly but utterly unintelligent on it's own, but.... as it clusters together with others of it's kind, it can, if their numbers are sufficient, achieve an intelligence far beyond the human capacity.

Its origins is still unknown, but I am working on finding out more. This sighting occurred in Central Illinois. I am curious to hear from the general public if you have any pertinent information about this or other Aliens.

Monster Go Away Spray works!

After some initial doubt I have now concluded that the Monster Go Away Spray really works.
I am thoroughly impressed by the work of psycho-aromatherapist Lisa Cook, the creator of this essential tool for field-monstrologists.





I have received a dazzling report from a field-monstrologist that has tested the spray in real-life conditions and according to him it is a sure-fire way to get rid of at least some specific beasts. See the drawing and observation notes on the frightening DRACH-NEE-LEJEEN below.


I also received a detailed record of the UNDERWATER KING-SNAKE ,a not so dangerous, but impressive monster.


Keep up the good work everybody!


Pesonally I am slightly perturbed by some rather confusing sightings lately that have not been monsters, but ALIENS, I sense that there might be a need to investigate this further since it appears that some of these beings inhabit a similar space to that of monsters.

Fearsome French Beasts

I have finally had time to analyze some of the recent drawings that were sent to me.

This batch came from a brother and sister team of very young monstrologists in Paris, France.

Antoine and Alice have created some very interesting images but, and this is understandable due to their tender age, have not given me much information apart from the drawings.

Here is the most compelling monster in my opinion. I would love to know more about it.

This is very frightening duo of monsters, I wonder if they are related to the terrifying Danish Gutrotter?

And this last one I believe is a variation on the Tadpole Monster so often observed by very young monstrologists.

You can of course read more about the Tadpole Monster in my Field Guide .

An interesting product & Aliens

My friend Emily sent me a link to an interesting product: An anti-monster spray.

It seems like I am not the only one to have discovered that monsters are sensitive to smells.

My homemade potpourri has kept me safe on many an occasion and I am happy to see that someone has created an easy to use product available to the general public.

I have generally made my potpourri very pungent (Curry, Cloves and Karl Lagerfeld Cologne combined), to be on the safe side...I wonder if nice smells might be as efficient?

I have been held up in my monstrology studies by several reports that initially seemed to be about monsters but turned out to be about aliens. So far any good information has been hard to get but here's an image that was recently sent to me.

It depicts two "Mulchons", an alien race of ravenous tree-eaters. The drawing came from an Alaskan lumberjack by the name Hank Swenson. He claims that they ate a fully grown tree as fast as he could eat an apple, that they travel by interstellar timber-trucks and that their droppings make excellent weed and pest resitant mulch.

An Active Season

Well, first of all I must apologize for not having written much here lately. I must admit that I have just been too busy. And let me tell you, it is a busy season for monstrology.

I have been getting in more and more reports from all over the world and I'm starting to worry that there is something "big" going on in the realm of monsters. Perhaps the increased activity is due to some astrological position or other natural event. My fear is that some day the monsters will start to conspire to leave the borderland between fantasy and reality, the realm that they traditionally inhabit, and enter fully into reality. That would be a truly frightening occurrence.

This field study came in from a young researcher named Kurt. It appears as if this is a relatively harmless monster.

This is his eye-witness account:

"Before leaving for my grandfather's house today I had to get my socks. Having my pencil and paper ready, (like I always do) I opened my drawer and this monster popped out of it! I quickly did a sketch of it and took my sock off it's tail. ( that must be their way of keeping warm )."

And earlier today I got an e-mail from another fellow monstrologist, Mr Smart, who had made some exceptionally detailed field-studies of two different beasts: The Deadly Driftwood and The Gravel Grinder.

The Gravel Grinder looks to me like it could be an Alien life-form. I'd say that the odd diet supports that idea.

This is Mr Smart's story:

"I have found 2 new monsters I would like to share with you! One is called the Deadly Driftwood, and the other the Gravel-Grinder. I encountered the Deadly Driftwood when me and my dad were driving on a bridge over a lake. It looked like the monster was coming to get me! I encountered the Gravel-Grinder walking on a path in my mom's garden.( The path was made of gravel).It was grinding the path ! "

And a traveller passing by from Paris, France hand-delivered a large collection of field notes from a brother and sister team of monstrologists the other day. I will eventually post some of those drawings once I have had an opportunity to scan them and study them further.

It is clear that there is an unusual high frequency of monster sightings at the moment so keep your pencils sharpened and your minds open out there!