Benny Found A Baby!

A nearly hysterical Benny sent me this picture in an e-mail. It appears to be of an infant Couch Cruncher. As followers of this blog might know, Benny is a "friend" who had a Couch Cruncher live in his couch for along time. We appeared to have solved the issue when we got the Cruncher to move to a furniture store in Queens, NY.

This time I believe that we might have learned something new and valuable about this small domestic monster. This "tadpole-cruncher", small, googly-eyed and gelatinous, is probably migrating back to where his parents were born. It might be the same kind of function we see in migrating birds and fish.

Benny either must keep a meticulously clean home, ( he can't leave a trail of crumbs around him at all times as he does, look at the picture! I'm sure his whole floor is covered with fragments of salty snacks...) or move, or...learn to live with the annual arrival of Couch Cruncher babies and see it as something positive, a sign of spring perhaps

A Nice Review

The Sliver Slurper

A Field Guide to Aliens:

Intergalactic Worryworts, Glorb, False Santas, and other Extraterrestrials
978-0-7614- 5594-3.

Monsterologist John Olander, having discovered that 45 percent of all monster sightings reported are actually alien sightings, has decided to follow up his Field Guide to Monsters (Marshall Cavendish, 2007/VOYA December 2007) with a guidebook to aliens one might encounter on earth. Full-color, double-page spreads on twenty-seven aliens include information on what their names sound like in their native language (if they have one), their origin, diet, distinguishing features, technology, and a narrative of sightings of each species on Earth. Each entry also includes evidence in the form of sketches, drawings, or photos from others who have encountered the alien “taped” to the bottom of the (simulated) graph paper pages. Those species that pose a threat are stamped “Danger to Humans” in red—for safety sake. Scientific data is also included such as the real explanation of wormholes (they are created by actual Space Worms) and Santa Claus (actually elflike aliens who subsist on fruitcake and cookies— the beard and hat are space gear). Although heavy on the poo humor: Silver Slurpers (among others) live on human waste and a Droopian, who comes from a high gravity planet, left a heavy deposit in a Wisconsin outhouse, this silly and gross “field guide” will entertain just about any reluctant reader (especially the boys). Fans of the first guide will also love this one. .—VOYA, April 2010

A Three-toed Troll

I received this fascinating drawing in the mail from a Swedish source.
A Three-Toed Troll
The fragmented text in Swedish says:
"it was a malevolent and unkind troll with three toes and three fin(gers?)....domestic animals for feed"

An Update

The snow-monster, was evil! It's effects were horrific...
Only a few days after it appeared, I came down with a frightening case of stomach flu!
Some might say, "coincidence", but I know better. That thing, I call it "The Snomo", had some kind of powers. Big snows when you're expecting spring often has the effect of making humans sick.
I think this monster, and yes I'm convinced this one was a monster not an alien, floats through air in pieces and assembles itself once enough snow has accumulated, then it sneaks around and does its evilness.
Melting took care of its demise.

There has been some cosmetic changes to my website and blog.
I hope they will be to your liking.

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The Monstrologist on Facebook

For those of you who pass by here and also are members of Facebook:

I just started a "fan-page" where I posted some new material about Aliens and a mysterious snow-being (below) that just appeared on our fire escape.

You should be able to find the page here. Please join.

A Field Guide to Aliens

Finally the publication of my new masterpiece: A Field Guide to Aliens: Intergalactic Worrywarts, Glorb, False Santas, and other Extraterrestrials is getting closer.

By clicking the link above you're able to get a preview on Amazon. However that is merely a superficial glance, this seminal work might be even more groundbreaking than my Field Guide to Monsters. The research and genius expended in the production are hardly made justice by that preview, no! It is of a kind that demands immersion and dedicated study.

In this tome you will find unique information about Extraterrestrials that nobody else has ever documented! I have mentioned a few before on this blog but in the book there are more than 25! Including some that are confirmed by photographic evidence that have never before been seen.

The more frivolous UFO and Alien-encounter "scientists" will undoubtedly try to cast my studies in a less than flattering light but I challenge them to bring forth any more compelling evidence than that which I have produced in abundance in A Field Guide to Aliens.

Here for instance is a photograph of an alien deposit left in an outhouse in Wausau, Wisconsin

Please note the extreme weight!

I have seen nothing even coming close to this evidence in the community of UFO and Aliens research before, if you have please let me know.

A Video Review

I found this review of my Field Guide to Monsters on Youtube!

A nice surprise, and proof of the fact that monstrology is getting closer and closer to the world of traditional academia!

NEW MONSTERS!

These are a handfull of fantastic new monsters discovered by junior monstrologists at Brooklyn Botanical Gardens during Ghouls & Gourds last Sunday. Surprisingly, quite a few were NOT dangerous to humans!

Halloween Rush

So, as you might understand, the end of October is a busy time for a monstrologist.

I have just returned from a monster-mission in Texas where my dear friend and young colleague Sepp had alerted me to the presence of some frightening beast in his neighborhood in Houston. We were unfortunately unable to confirm any monsters or aliens but we saw some interesting tracks and held several intriguing interviews with witnesses.

Investigating a possible monster-sighting in Houston,TX

I believe this will be an investigation that I will have to return to repeatedly in the future. The Monster or Alien is supposedly taller than 10 feet, very thin and takes a special interest in Chickens.

While in Texas I was also able to give my formidable lecture on The Science of Monstrology at two esteemed locations, The Hendley Market in Galveston, TX and Travis Elementary School in Houston, TX.

This weekend I will hold my annual monster investigation workshop at the Ghouls and Gourds event in Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, Sunday Oct. 25, noon-6pm, kids under 12 free!

The following week I will be doing my lecture at three different academic institutions in Brooklyn, these will however not be open to the public. But below you can view a video from my lecturing at Hendley Market.

And last but not least, Happy Halloween!!