Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Dark Specter

I have recieved a fascinating report on a brand new monster: The Dark Specter

This time the news comes from Elmira, NY where an intrepid young monstrologist by the name Devin has done some impressive research.

His drawing of the Dark Specter is among the finest field drawings I have seen.

These are the facts that Devin has been able to gleen about the mysterious Dark Specter, in his own words:

"5 ft, 10 inches.
Can sometimes be found wearing a ragged top hat.
Seems to like books, but I am not really sure if it eats anything at all!
I have found it in the Steel memorial library in Elmira NY, and by my toaster in the kitchen.

I do not know what color it is because I have all ways seen it just as a black outline.

It also seems to like indoors, and very quiet but human inhabited places. "

Devin has a very nice website that you can visit here:

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Important Findings in Denmark

A few days ago I received an exiting package from Denmark.
It contained a collection of new findings from three young monstrologists.

Their scientific method is still crude and there was only little additional information concerning each monster but the field drawings were spectacular!

We have here three new never before seen beasts.

The first one, discovered and documented by Naomi, is perhaps the most frightening.

Naomi calls this monster "Terrible Killer Head" and list a color guide to the drawing.

Red+yellow= Fire

Red= Lava

Blue= Poison

Green= Acid

Gray= Circular Saw

Yellow= Electrical Shock

This monster is undoubtedly very, very dangerous to humans.

The "Firhoved" or "Fourhead" (below) was found by Melissa. The only information given about this monster is that it is "Dangerous to Humans" (written in Danish on the drawing).

It is a spectacular beast!

The third monster discovered by this team of monstrologists, this one by Maya, was the "Tunge-Slasker", which translates to "Toungue-Slobberer". This cat-like monster also lacks any more specific details but it is clearly described as dangerous to humans and we find this beast in an action filled pose. One can only imagine what havoc a beast like this can wreak. Personally I am also very curious about the other beast in this image, what is it? another undocumented monster?

I sincerely hope this is not the last time I hear from these young heroines.

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Conclusion to Benny's Troubles

Our attempt at discovering and dislodging the Couch Cruncher from Benny's sofa was quite a struggle but we emerged victorious in the end.

It took 4 nights, 16 hot dogs, and a hand-full of missed opportunities to finally get a good look at the Couch Cruncher.
As you might remember from our previous encounter with the Cruncher in Benny's house I observed a very young Cruncher. I now believe that that "baby" was the one we did battle with this time. It had grown up but I had a distinct feeling that this was the same individual.
This leads me to assume that Crunchers do not live with their offspring very long, that they grow fast and that the young often take over their parent's "hunting grounds".
One of the most fascinating aspects of this relatively harmless monster was its arms. They were soft and appeared to be without bones and were able to be pulled inside, or stretched far outside the body in an almost telescopic way.

To make a long story short, Benny's couch is once again safe.
The Cruncher was removed and today it resides in a furniture store on Steinway Street in Queens where Benny has agreed to stop by every week and "misplace" a dozen hot dogs.

I was able to do a more detailed field study of The Couch Cruncher this time (See below) and learned a lot more about it. It will most likely be entered in to the next edition of my Field Guide.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Shadow Casters in Illinois and Benny in Trouble

There seems like there might be Shadow-Casters nesting in a 160-year old house in Central/Western Illinois, this according to a report from two brothers residing in said house. They have noticed clear indications, such as creaking floor sounds, the archetypical sound of the sneaking Shadow Caster and actually asked if there was a possibility of me doing an investigation.
Unfortunately I had do decline since after the holidays Benny has become a priority and I am fully engaged in the Couch-Cruncher problem again.

It seems like Benny, who was quite resentful of my ignoring him for so long, had moved out to his kitchen, leaving his combined living room-bedroom and his beloved couch to the Cruncher. He was scared and upset, especially after his remote got eaten.

But before the holidays he decided to try to "take back" his apartment. He bought a new universal remote and started to enjoy his couch again and all went really well for some time.
My guess is that he got sloppy with food and snacks around Christmas... and then he lost the new remote. Without thinking he stuck his hand deep into the couch to see if it had slipped between the cushions...He got bit pretty bad.
I assume that a cruncher took his rather plump finger for a hot dog, their favorite food.

I will keep you posted on any developments. I will be staying with Benny for few days.